Ruby in the Rough

Welcome to Ruby Tuesdays. Join me and others every Tuesday as we blog something related to Proverbs 31. My theory is she's in the Bible to inspire and uplift, not discourage us. If you're visiting from the Ultimate Blog Party, I'm glad you stopped by. Leave a comment letting me know you were here and I'll enter you for a chance to win an "Afternoon Tea in a Box."(follow link for details)

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"An excellent (woman) who can find?
Her worth is far above rubies ."

Proverbs 31:10

Have you ever seen rubies straight from the mine? To the untrained eye they look more like aquarium gravel than precious jewels. But once a master jeweler gets finished with one—grinding, polishing, cutting, shaping, and even refining it with fire—the beauty that lay hidden beneath the marred surface is exposed for all to admire.

It's an exacting process to take a rough chunk of mineral and create a valuable jewel. It's not easy—a ruby is second in hardness only to a diamond. And it takes the skill of a master to see the possibilities in each stone—to choose just the right size, shape, and pattern of facets to best display the gem's inherent beauty. A properly cut stone is perfectly balanced, so the light that enters the face doesn't pass through, but reflects from one facet onto another, creating a fascinating, ever-changing kaleidoscope.

Brilliant. Shining. Multi-faceted. Colorful. Sparkling....words used to describe a fine gem. The same words can describe a fine woman.

Proverbs 31 describes a lady who's "a real gem." She's the type of woman that a mother wants her son to marry—respected by the community, praised by her family, industrious, wise, resourceful, enterprising. And while we might resent if someone holds us up to that seemingly impossible standard (and the implication that we're not really okay the way we are), we still make our own efforts to become just such a woman.

I used to resent her when I was under the impression that this woman had her act all together from the start. But one of the things that came with my new perspective on Proverbs 31 is the recognition that it's not about being a 'finished product' right from the start. This passage is looking back at what a virtuous woman can become over a lifetime. That seems do-able.

That's what Ruby Tuesdays is about. It's a closer look at the many possibilities our lives can include. Based on characteristics that made one ideal gem of a woman beautiful, each post will explore one element that can add radiance to our lives as well. Every Tuesday we'll look at aspects of life such as:

• Financial management and investing
• Interior decorating
• Working from home
• Cooking
• Teaching
• Serving
• Caring
• Knowing God

...an almost unlimited combination of pursuits. Some of the facets may not fit into our lives just now; others may not belong there at all. And we don't need to perfect each of these traits; we need to see that the aspects of life that seem so ordinary are actually reflections of the character and nature of God. We'll find the meaning in the mundane by considering the spiritual as well as the practical perspective of these pursuits.

And the most important thing to remember is that we aren't expected to become shining, brilliant reflections of God by our own efforts any more than a pebble of corundum becomes a sparkling ruby without help.

The Master Jeweler knows what we were intended to look like from the beginning. He works carefully and slowly to shape us perfectly, creating just the right combination of characteristics to reflect His light in our lives. And He has promised that little by little, with His help, we will become the fully faceted, beautiful women he created us to be.

"...of this one thing I am certain, He who began a good work in you will perfect it." Phil. 1:6 NASB

If you blog about any of the topics listed above sometime during the week, you're welcome to use Mr Linky so others can see your post (please use the URL from the specific post itself, not just your blog URL).


You can also grab the Ruby Tuesdays code and place the button in your sidebar so more of your bloggy friends can come along. I look forward to seeing you on Tuesdays to discover more ways we can become the 'gems' God intends us to be. (And don't forget to leave a comment to be entered in the giveaway. Mention Ruby Tuesdays on your blog and get another entry. Winner chosen on April 7.)

Related Posts:
Endless Possibilities

A Woman of Strength

Cookin' Up Something

You Can't Cook if There's No Food in the House

Welcome to the 'No Food in the House' Club

No Fear

No Fear

(Winner of last weeks' giveaway is announced following this post.)

Welcome to Ruby Tuesdays. Every Tuesday I'll blog something based on an excerpt of Proverbs 31. My theory is she's in the Bible to encourage, not discourage us. As the world around me becomes more uncertain and I strive to do the best in the areas that I can influence (the people and space within our four walls), she's an inspiration to me. I hope she will be to you too.

"She has no fear for her household...

...she can laugh at the days to come."

Proverbs 31:21,25

Can you say you have no fear for your household--or that you "can laugh at the days to come"? I know I feel more uncertain of the future now than I ever have before. Paycuts, lack of side work for me, plummeting home value, uncertain health and well-being of family members...it can be hard not to entertain a little fear here and there, and it's certainly not easy to laugh about it!

Under the circumstances, I have to say that I'm looking more closely at the Proverbs 31 woman than ever before. Why did she have no fear? What did she know that can help me?

From what I can see, she wasn't Wonderwoman. She was prepared. I think she can laugh at the future because whatever may come, she's ready for it.

There's enough warm blankets for a cold winter, enough food put away for a bad harvest. She's got skills she can fall back on if needed. She's strong and capable and confident.

I have to say, the more I watch the news, the less of all of those things I feel. Our house value has tumbled like everyone's and we bought near the peak of the market. There hasn't been any recruiting work for me in over a year, and no one goes into ministry for the money.

And that's just the stuff at my door. The further out I look, the more things I see to be concerned about. But, all of that makes me want to focus on the things that I can control/influence.

These days I find myself drawing closer to home--cooking good food that costs less and feels like more; trying to make our environment more comfortable and attractive so its the place we want to be. I look a season ahead and shop for the boys when things are inexpensive so I know they'll be well dressed as they grow and the seasons change and budgets become more uncertain. I have a decidedly brown thumb, but I'm even slightly tempted to plant a vegetable garden this summer (of course, that's only if they decide not to ration our water).

And even though it's tempting to want to keep everything we have for ourselves, I'm actually finding ways to give more than I have in previous seasons. Somehow having something that can be shared makes this time seem less fearful. If I have more than we need, we're not doing too badly after all.

In these days of rising unemployment and falling stock prices, businesses closing and tent cities opening, it isn't always easy to say, "I have no fear for my household." But by keeping my focus close to home and looking for my confidence in the Lord, I can take each day as it comes and not let fear overtake me. After all, we've got promises like this to rest on:

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD,

plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

Jeremiah 29:11 ESV

What do you fear? The literal storms that rage outside? The figurative storms that blow inside? Economic hardship? What are you doing to combat the creeping concern that things may get worse before they get better? I'd love to hear verses that comfort you, or steps that you are taking to keep fear at bay when so much of what we're hearing seems to imply we should "be afraid, be very afraid."

I know many of you blog from a P-31 perspective too; if you make a Proverbs 31-related post sometime during the week, you're welcome to use Mr Linky so others can see your post (please use the URL from the post itself, not just your blog URL). You can also grab the Ruby Tuesdays code and place the button in your sidebar so more of your bloggy friends can come along. I hope you'll join me on Tuesdays to discover more ways we can become the 'gems' God intends us to be.

You Can't Cook if There's No Food in the House

Note: If you're here because you googled "no food in the house," take a look at this post for some more ideas.

My mom wasn't much of a stocker-upper. We did our grocery shopping weekly (and I do mean we--all four of us would head to the grocery store every Saturday morning); she'd plan out the week of menus and get mostly just what was needed for that week. It was a good system, if you don't mind shopping every Saturday.

With my aversion to grocery shopping though (and my desire to only buy things on sale which means buying several of certain things when they're cheap), I slowly but surely have created my own loose pantry list.

I think I first got the idea when our college group went to home of our college advisors. I know they weren't perfect, but she was very much a living example of Titus 2 and Proverbs 31 to me. And on her refrigerator hung a pantry list that included marshmellows and chocolate syrup. It never occured to me that I could personalize my "staples" that way.

Having certain ingredients on hand can help you be prepared to fix a meal without the bother of a special shopping trip. Look over the following items for those that suit your household's tastes and your cooking abilities. There are lots of good places online to get sample pantry lists you can modify for your own use.

Make a list with these categories and specify the things you will keep in your pantry or freezer. Make several copies of it and keep one in the kitchen (on the inside of a cupboard door or on the refrigerator). When you've used the last of something, be sure and add the item to your next grocery list. Whenever possible, stock up on these frequently used items when they go on sale--even if you haven't run out yet.

Staples
Flour; sugar (granulated, brown and powdered); shortening; cooking oil; margarine or butter; baking powder; baking soda; vinegar; baking mix (like Bisquick, etc.) eggs; milk; canned tuna or chicken; canned beans; peanut butter; canned tomatoes or tomato sauce, tomato paste; frozen veggies; frozen meats, etc.
Seasonings
oregano; sage; pepper; salt; chili powder; garlic powder (or crushed garlic); onion powder (or dehydrated onion); bay leaves; dried soup mixes (onion, garlic and herb, etc); basil; rosemary
Sauces
soy sauce; Worcestershire sauce; ketchup; molasses; cream soups (cream of mushroom, chicken, celery, etc); prepared mustard; salad dressings; other marinades
Sides
potatoes; rice; pastas (linguine or spaghetti, rotinni or corkscrew, other fun shapes/flavors); a few packages of rice or pasta-and-sauce side dishes
Seasonal
Holiday-themed pasta, cake mixes, sprinkles, canned pumpkin, cranberries….

If you keep all of those kinds of things stocked, and you shop as needed for fresh produce and meats you should always be able to put together a basic meal. My "I have no idea what's for dinner tonight" meals include chili (tomato sauce, kidney beans, ground meat, spices) and a variety of dishes using some combination of meat (chicken, canned salmon) pasta, sauce (marinara or alfredo) and a veggie.

Another standard that I can always throw together in a pinch is a simple red sauce. With just slight variations I use it for spaghetti, pizza, lasagna, even chicken parmesan. It tastes better than prepared spaghetti sauce; it's cheaper, and almost as quick. And because it's made with basics from my pantry, I can always prepare a tasty meal at a moment's notice.

Red sauce
10 oz can tomato sauce
6 oz can tomato paste (for spaghetti or lasagna, use 2 cans sauce to 1 can tomato paste.)
1/4 teaspoon crushed garlic (or 1 clove minced fresh garlic)
1/4 cup dehydrated onion (rehydrate in 1/4 cup hot water)
1/4 cup chopped green pepper (buy when on sale, slice or chop, and freeze for future use)
oregano, basil, rosemary; bay leaf; salt and pepper

Combine ingredients in skillet or saucepan. Add seasonings; simmer for 10 to 15 minutes. If desired, brown ground meat (turkey or hamburger), add to sauce and simmer for an additional 10 to 15 minutes. Prepare pasta according to package, add sauce. Serves 4.

For pizza sauce or bread stick dipping sauce, use 1 can tomato sauce to 1 can tomato paste, season to taste, spread on prepared crust and add favorite toppings. Bake according to directions for crust.

There's one other level of satisfaction from having a well stocked pantry that's a little less tangible, but in our current economy it's gaining importance. Sometimes, when something comes up and it's clear there's going to be more month than money before the next paycheck, there's a quiet confidence in knowing that even if I can't swing a shopping trip this week, we will eat and I even have enough to share with a food drive or someone in need. And anything I can do to help eliminate one small bit of worry or stress is well worth the effort.

She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;

for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

Proverbs 31:20-21

Next up--brine yourself before you brine your turkey!

Cookin' up something

The Holidays are coming. Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and about a dozen events in between today and New Years day. The one thing most of them have in common is the tradition of lots of homemade food.

Whether you are a day-in, day-out cook or not, there's something about The Holidays that draws out our inner Martha Stewart (or at least Rachel Ray or Sandra Lee) and pulls us into the kitchen.

True confession time....

I don't really like to cook.

Actually, I do like to make fancy desserts and special occasion dishes; it's just those daily breakfast, lunch and dinner meals that I can't get all excited about.

In the years before I was married my pantry contained thirty varieties of tea, a huge assortment of spices, flour and sugar (I had a set of canisters--I knew what to put in them), various types of pasta, and several boxes of Jell-o.

During that time, as near as I can recall, I lived primarily on yogurt, stuffing mix, ramen noodles, and macaroni and cheese.

And I ate out.

A lot.

It wasn't that I didn't know how to cook. My mom started teaching my sister and me kitchen basics before I reached junior high school. She worked full time and would often leave instructions for minor dinner preparations. We started with simple things like peeling potatoes and putting them on to boil, mixing up cornbread or baking powder biscuits, and graduated to preparing a baked chicken or simple spaghetti sauce from scratch.

By high school, my sister and I were each responsible for dinner one night a week. We chose the menu and prepared the meal, learning lessons about how to plan a balanced menu and get all the food to the table hot at the same time.

After I moved out on my own though, I found that the fresh foods I was used to eating spoiled before I could use them up. I also learned that I would rather go to the dentist than to the grocery store. It's hard to prepare a real meal if there's no food in the house, so I just never got into the habit of cooking.

But a funny thing happened after I got married. I still didn't like to cook (or shop for food), but suddenly, I felt responsible for making sure my husband had nutritious, good food to eat. Before the wedding, I didn't mind if we ate fast food several times a week. After, it bothered me that he would be content eating cold cereal two out of three meals a day. Add toast and PB&J or grilled cheese and you've got the boys' default menu too.

I'm still not fond of grocery shopping, and I don't like spending a lot of time in the kitchen either. But I do find an unexpected sense of satisfaction when I prepare a tasty, healthy meal for a fraction of the price of eating out. And now that we've added kids to the table, it's even more important than when it was just the two of us (and frankly, eating out with kids isn't the relaxing experience it used to be).

God is the ultimate example of providing for those in His care. We demonstrate our care for those we love, and thus reflect God's love as we make efforts to provide healthy, appealing foods for the people we care for. While this is a factor all the time, I'm trying to remember it especially as I begin holiday preparations. I want the meals and goodies and celebrations to be more service than stress and ultimately one more gift to offer my loved ones.

"My God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:19

"She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family..."

Proverbs 31:15a

Up next...tips to simplify shopping--and save money while you're at it!

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A Woman of Strength

I stopped by Lysa TerKeurst's site Monday and she was telling how her usual 4 mile run turned into a half marathon by accident. I can't imagine!

I've kind of always hated strenuous physical activity. I used my asthma to be virtually excused from most running-related PE classes. When I got to high school and we got to choose which sports we'd do for our PE classes, I chose things like played doubles tennis (you only had to cover half the court), badminton and bowling (I can still keep score without using the computerized scoring system.)

Eventually I all but gave up the "E" word (exercise). I don't know who first said it, but I heartily agreed with the sentiment, "Whenever I get the urge to exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes."

Once my school days were past, I figured I was home free—no one would pressure me to participate in sports or to "exercise." I fell well within the normal/healthy weight range for my age. I could walk the half-mile or so down the street to get an ice cream cone or a muffin without any trouble, and how strong did I need to be to work at a computer, anyway?

Apparently, I needed to be stronger than I was! When I began to have chronic neck and shoulder pain both on the job and off, I was sent to see a specialist. He confirmed that I had tendonitis and was on the verge of carpal tunnel syndrome. I hoped (and expected) his first recommendation to be to change the configuration of my workspace, which I suspected was the source of my trouble. But the first thing he said when he saw my poor grip-strength was that I needed to be stronger.

"Exercise." he said.

"Work with weights." he said.

"WHAT?!" I thought, "I work at a computer!"

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I left that job a few months later, and most of my pain went with it, so I kind of forgot about needing to be stronger.

Until I had my first child, that is.

It doesn't take too much strength to carry around an eight or ten pound baby, but they don't stay that small. As Bug grew, I noticed how weak my lower back was. I was a little concerned about being one of those women who threw my back out lifting my son and initiating a lifetime of back troubles.

When Bug was just over a year old and I could no longer put off trying to get rid of the rest of my "baby fat," we purchased a coupon book that had lots of local services. Mixed in with the free oil changes and haircuts was a month's free membership to a women's-only gym that I'd heard good things about.

When I told Hubs I wanted to go, I know he held his breath for fear I'd snap back to my senses and put the notion out of my mind. (As gracious as he always is, I knew it bothered my athlete husband that I never shared his passion for working up a good sweat.)

My first day, I got to the "pull-up machine"—a simple bar that you grasp with hands together and pull up to shoulder height, then push down as hard as possible to maximize the resistance. I couldn't believe when that same old weak shoulder resurfaced! I hadn't worked at the injury-inducing job for almost eight years, and didn't do anything else I could think of to hurt it. But it was clear with each pull and push that my dominant right arm was struggling to carry its share of the weight!

I faithfully worked out four times that week though, and the second week my right shoulder didn't bother me a bit! (I guess the good doctor knew what he was talking about after all.)

After just a couple weeks I dropped one size and reduced my body fat percentage. But I was especially happy to see the increased flexibility and general strength, which was important for being able to sit cross-legged on the floor for assorted toddler activities. I have to admit that since Boo came along, I haven't managed to make fitness a priority; I need to change that.

It's easy for me to feel that it's more important to focus on inner strength rather than outer strength. And it probably is. But if I see my body as God's dwelling place and an important aspect of being ready to serve, then I need to put my external well being on par with other qualities I focus on.

"She girds herself with strength,

And makes her arms strong."

Proverbs 31:17

How do you keep yourself strong? Is it a challenge or a priority to you?

I'm turning into my mother!

I never thought it would happen.

There are so many things I grew up with that I've always said "When I grow up, I'm not going to...." and then I'd fill in the blank with something or other that my mom did that bugged me.

One of those things was breakfast. For as long as I can remember, even when my mom worked full time, she got up every morning and fixed a hot breakfast for us. French toast, pancakes (from scratch), bacon and eggs...all the basics you'd find on the menu at your favorite breakfast joint.

At some point there started to be a little pattern to it--every Monday we had some version of hot cereal; wheat hearts, cornmeal mush, oatmeal, cream of wheat...see? You could go a month of Mondays without repeating a mush.

Tuesday almost redeemed Monday because it became Toast and Hot Chocolate day (there was fruit, but to me that was incidental). For years I cursed Monday morning (and most of the others) and tolerated Tuesdays while vowing that when I grew up, I wouldn't fix a hot breakfast--I likely wouldn't eat breakfast at all (in the morning, I'd far rather eat than sleep!). And if I did eat breakfast, it would always be toast and hot chocolate and mandarin oranges.

For the most part, I've lived up to my vows. I'm still not a big breakfast eater. Most mornings it's much closer to lunchtime when I break my fast. And when you let my kids choose breakfast, they usually pick toast or cold cereal, which is often prepared by Dad since he's already up fixing his own breakfast anyway.

But this week, things are different. This week we joined the ranks of the families "getting ready for school." The first day I made cinnamon streusel swirl "train muffins" as a special treat for my train loving kindergartener. I accompanied them with some scrambled eggs because a muffin alone is like sending him off with cake for breakfast. And while I welcome cake as a perfectly good breakfast for me, my mom-sense knows my kiddos need better.

Morning two was blueberry pancakes. Morning three was a repeat of morning one (at Bug's request; he actually likes scrambled eggs). Not one bowl of cereal or piece of toast in sight. (Just so happens we're out of bread, but that's beside the point!)

So here I am, repeating my moms patterns, despite my years of protestations (except for the mush. Anyone in the family who actually likes the stuff is welcome to make their own).

And I'm realizing that maybe, even though I didn't appreciate it at the time, she did that not because she was a big old meany who made me get up half an hour earlier than I really needed to, to eat a meal I didn't even want. Maybe she did it because she knew we needed to get off to a good start; nourished in body and soul, connected to one another.

I can't guarantee that the next 15 years of sending little ones off to school will still find me at the stove fixing a warm meal every morning, but for right now it seems like the right thing to do.

And since I'm sure I never said it at the time, "Thanks for breakfast Mom."

"She rises while it is still night and provides portions for her household." Proverbs 31:15

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Have you seen yourself channeling your mother in unexpected ways? What are some of your back-to-school traditions? Tell us about it!

Endless Possibilities

Do you remember those "Magic Eye" pictures? The ones where you'd kind of squint and let your eyes go blurry and you'd see an image hidden within the picture.

That's kind of how I look at "the Virtuous Woman" of Proverbs 31. Hidden in the picture of this role model of efficiency and accomplishment is another image that doesn't get discussed as often.

The thing that initially made me give this woman a second look was that she had "servant girls." She had household help! I like that idea. (Someday...) Beyond that though, she was a woman who made the most of her time and found activities in which she excelled.

She's the type of woman that a mother wants her son to marry—respected by the community, praised by her family, industrious, wise, resourceful, enterprising. And while we might resent if someone else holds us up to that seemingly impossible standard (and the implication that we're not really okay the way we are), we still make our own efforts to become just such a woman.

Let's face it; we want to be more attractive, more fit, more interesting, more accomplished. We buy magazines and books by the armload to try to "improve" ourselves. We stand in the checkout line with our basket full of good intentions, deciding whether this week we will take home instructions for "Foolproof Chocolate Cheesecake," "A Romantic Bedroom Makeover in a Weekend," or "10 Easy Steps to a Whole New You."

For many years, before marriage was even a faint possibility for me, I found myself frustrated by what I perceived to be a limited number of options for Christian women. It seemed like most of the descriptions of women in the Bible were about being a wife and mother. I was neither. What was I supposed to do with the gifts and abilities that God gave me? And was I ever going to actually be happy in a life of "cooking, cleaning and babysitting" as I unflatteringly referred to it?

Those feelings of limitation were transformed the first time I realized that Proverbs 31 is not a checklist of accomplishments or a yardstick by which to measure my own achievements. It is a portrayal of the endless possibilities of a woman's life; a poetic description of a life of creativity and career, caring and commitment. Here was a passage that spelled out what my heart had always known—life wouldn't begin on my wedding day or end the day my last child left home. Instead, married or unmarried, I have a lifetime to learn and grow and become the woman God created me to be.

I am so not a "woman of excellence" in many ways. I don't particularly like to shop or cook; I heartily dislike the "E" word (exercise) and didn't marry until I was in my 30's.

So what do I find exciting about Proverbs 31? The possibilities.

I am excited and challenged by the idea that there's more to life as a Christian woman (and homemaker!) than that old cooking, cleaning and babysitting. And as much as I may have to learn, I am encouraged to know I've got time to work on it. In the same way we're allowed a lifetime to become Christ-like, we have all the time in the world to become creative, caring, committed women.

Is there something in your heart that you've longed to pursue, but you've been afraid it didn't fit the picture of a Godly woman? As you read Proverbs 31, take another look at your life and find a new way of viewing the endless possibilities God has given you.

"...of this one thing I am certain, He who began a good work in you will perfect it."Phil 1:6

Recipe: Afghans
The name of this cookie reminds me of the woman of Proverbs 31 who "makes coverings for her bed." If you "squint and make your eyes go blurry," this chocolate version of the traditional lace cookie looks like crochet. Serve Afghans as a reminder of the endless possbilities God gives to women.


1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, soft but not melted
1/2 cup brown sugar
1'/3 cup light corn syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2/3 cup flour
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup rolled oats


Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Line baking sheets with parchment or grease generously.

In a medium bowl, use electric mixer on medium speed to beat butter, brown sugar, corn syrup and vanilla until well blended. In a small bowl, stir together flour, unsweetened cocoa and salt. Add to butter-sugar mixture and beat until smooth. Gently stir in oatmeal.

Drop batter by level teaspoonfuls three inches apart onto prepared sheets (cookies will spread). Flatten slightly with the bottom of a glass. Bake five or six minutes or until edges begin to firm.

Let cookies cool briefly on sheets, then remove to wire racks to cool completely. Store in an airtight container. Makes approx. 36 cookies.

Photo from Fine Cooking. Recipe originally published in Coffee, Cookies and Inspiration, 1999, Mary Pielenz Hampton. All rights reserved.