No Fear

(Winner of last weeks' giveaway is announced following this post.)

Welcome to Ruby Tuesdays. Every Tuesday I'll blog something based on an excerpt of Proverbs 31. My theory is she's in the Bible to encourage, not discourage us. As the world around me becomes more uncertain and I strive to do the best in the areas that I can influence (the people and space within our four walls), she's an inspiration to me. I hope she will be to you too.

"She has no fear for her household...

...she can laugh at the days to come."

Proverbs 31:21,25

Can you say you have no fear for your household--or that you "can laugh at the days to come"? I know I feel more uncertain of the future now than I ever have before. Paycuts, lack of side work for me, plummeting home value, uncertain health and well-being of family members...it can be hard not to entertain a little fear here and there, and it's certainly not easy to laugh about it!

Under the circumstances, I have to say that I'm looking more closely at the Proverbs 31 woman than ever before. Why did she have no fear? What did she know that can help me?

From what I can see, she wasn't Wonderwoman. She was prepared. I think she can laugh at the future because whatever may come, she's ready for it.

There's enough warm blankets for a cold winter, enough food put away for a bad harvest. She's got skills she can fall back on if needed. She's strong and capable and confident.

I have to say, the more I watch the news, the less of all of those things I feel. Our house value has tumbled like everyone's and we bought near the peak of the market. There hasn't been any recruiting work for me in over a year, and no one goes into ministry for the money.

And that's just the stuff at my door. The further out I look, the more things I see to be concerned about. But, all of that makes me want to focus on the things that I can control/influence.

These days I find myself drawing closer to home--cooking good food that costs less and feels like more; trying to make our environment more comfortable and attractive so its the place we want to be. I look a season ahead and shop for the boys when things are inexpensive so I know they'll be well dressed as they grow and the seasons change and budgets become more uncertain. I have a decidedly brown thumb, but I'm even slightly tempted to plant a vegetable garden this summer (of course, that's only if they decide not to ration our water).

And even though it's tempting to want to keep everything we have for ourselves, I'm actually finding ways to give more than I have in previous seasons. Somehow having something that can be shared makes this time seem less fearful. If I have more than we need, we're not doing too badly after all.

In these days of rising unemployment and falling stock prices, businesses closing and tent cities opening, it isn't always easy to say, "I have no fear for my household." But by keeping my focus close to home and looking for my confidence in the Lord, I can take each day as it comes and not let fear overtake me. After all, we've got promises like this to rest on:

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD,

plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

Jeremiah 29:11 ESV

What do you fear? The literal storms that rage outside? The figurative storms that blow inside? Economic hardship? What are you doing to combat the creeping concern that things may get worse before they get better? I'd love to hear verses that comfort you, or steps that you are taking to keep fear at bay when so much of what we're hearing seems to imply we should "be afraid, be very afraid."

I know many of you blog from a P-31 perspective too; if you make a Proverbs 31-related post sometime during the week, you're welcome to use Mr Linky so others can see your post (please use the URL from the post itself, not just your blog URL). You can also grab the Ruby Tuesdays code and place the button in your sidebar so more of your bloggy friends can come along. I hope you'll join me on Tuesdays to discover more ways we can become the 'gems' God intends us to be.

Budgetary Considerations

With all the talk of the economy in the news this week, it's hard not to be looking for ways to cut back or save, even if you still have a decent job and don't need to sell your house (at a loss) any time soon. Our budget isn't what it once was because I haven't done any freelance work in nearly a year, so I've been looking for ways to stretch what we've got.

Of course we’ve already made the usual adjustments. I cook at home more. Our version of entertainment is cheap (around $10 for a family of four) or free. Treats such as Cold Stone ice cream only happen once in a while and only when we have a buy-one, get-one-free coupon. I only buy things—including groceries—that are on sale (preferably 50% or more off).

But I needed to find ways to do more.

And, (drumroll please) I saved us more than $300 a month this week, without giving up anything!

A couple weeks ago a man from the cable company was walking the neighborhood. Normally I wouldn't talk to a ‘door to door salesman,’ in fact, I wouldn't usually even open the door! But I was expecting Hubs when I heard the knock and the first thing he asked was I liked my service and if I had any problems with it, so I decided to have a conversation with him.

I told him I liked everything fine, but wasn’t happy that my bill had gone up another $40/month recently and that all of a sudden we had ‘premium’ channels that I’d never requested. He said he’d take care of cancelling the unwanted programming, but it was the next thing he said that was really interesting.

I learned that by switching away from my home phone provider and adding telephone service to the cable internet and TV we already get from them, I'd be saving $100 a month! Forty dollars of the savings would come from lowering my cable bill (it is actually cheaper to have all three services from them than just the two) and $60 savings from eliminating the separate phone service.

Usually I don't like messing with my phone service. I suppose I’m a little brand loyal and it seems someone is always hawking a ‘better deal’, but when you add it all up, it doesn't really add up. (At least that’s what I learned in college when my roommate pretended to be me and switched long distance carriers without my authorization. It wasn't a better deal at all!)

I also took a look at our mortgage numbers and called to see if there wasn't something we could do to make that work better for us. Because I wanted to be sure we could always make the payments, we'd chosen to have a fixed rate so we could count on the payment amount. It turns out though that the variable rate attached to the mortgage is dropping the fixed rate and taking on the variable rate, I saved 2 percentage points and around $200 a month!

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If we keep making the same payment we were making before, that will go to principle and we'll increase our equity and pay down the debt quicker. We will need to watch the interest rates and adjust accordingly, but they’d have to go up by at least those two points before we’d be back where we started. And this was all done with one phone call; no refinance paperwork, no appraisal.

Those were just two small changes that don't impact us on a day to day basis at all--no sacrifice, nothing to give up--but we'll be seeing big gains. It feels good to be one tiny step closer to 'the virtuous woman,' "She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night." Proverbs 31:18

What have you come up with to make the money you already have last longer and go farther? Do you have creative ideas for entertainment, gift giving or some of those other budget categories that aren’t necessities but are hard to avoid altogether? Tell us about it!

What's your "Mommidentity?"

I stopped by My Cup 2 Yours today and saw pics of the fun projects Genny has done with her kids in these last days before school starts.

At first I was a little envious and and a tad guilty-feeling because I had grand plans for fun projects with my kids this summer too. Somehow though, the finger paints, little wooden models of trucks and airplanes, the garden stepping stones and all those things never made it out of spare room where I stash all kinds of fun stuff I'm not ready to break out yet.

But when I started to comment about what we hope to accomplish in the 4 remaining days before Bug starts Kindergarten (a car show nearby, a visit to the fun park with the water stuff to play in, a trip to the train museum), it dawned on me that I'm not "Arts and Crafts Mom" I'm "Field Trip Mom!"

That was a happy revelation. No, my kids won't have memories of us spending the summer doing lots of messy stuff around the kitchen table, but they will have memories of riding the cable cars from the wharf to Union Square and back again, the San Francisco Zoo, an afternoon wandering Pacific Garden mall looking for the perfect lunch spot (which turned out to be the first real restaurant we walked past)...and it's ok if there was no paint or glue or scissors involved.

Yeah, I still want to break out of my comfort zone and throw caution to the wind by allowing glitter to gather in the seams of our Tigerwood floors, but my kids aren't totally deprived. In fact, given the choice of an outing and a project, I can bet my two would pretty much always choose the outing.

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So what's your "Mommidentity?" Find the one you're most familiar with and capitalize on it. And when you're in a rut, choose something new to explore. I'm hoping that as you find your mom-style, it will be one more thing to give you confidence and one less reason to compare yourself to anyone else you know!

Arts and Crafts Mom--You have a closet full of art supplies and aren't afraid to use them.

Field Trip Mom--You have an arsenal of maps and almanacs and an idea for where to spend every random day off.

Kitchen Fun Mom--You always have a recipe for cooking up some fun.

Sporty Mom--You don't just sign your kids up for sports, you're ready to throw a ball, ride a bike or jump in the pool without planning ahead to make sure your hair, make-up and clothes are suited to the task (because they pretty much always are).

Serving Mom--Christmas at the Rescue Mission, Valentine's Day at the convalescent home, random summer days spent picking up litter or weeding at the community garden...you're the mom who knows there's a need and brings your kids along to meet it.

Nature Mom--You fully appreciate God's creation and are instilling that into your children by going for hikes, camping at the lake (or in the backyard), planting a garden...

Teacher Mom--whether you homeschool your children or not, you see "teachable moments" everywhere you go and in everything you do. You visit the library weekly (and actually read the whole stack of books before you return) and your kids definitely don't lose 2.5 months of their educational level over the summer break!

Fine Arts Mom--You’re the mom who can get an 8 year old boy to don khaki’s and a polo shirt on a Saturday afternoon for a trip to the symphony. Art exhibits at the museum, professional performances of the Nutcracker, all find their way onto your calendar.
Media Mom—You’re the one in line at midnight to get tickets for the latest Star Wars release. You had a Wii stashed in the gifts closet before most of the country knew to pronounce it “wee” and you’re as likely to have “joystick wrist” as you are carpal tunnel syndrome.

Silly Mom--Funny faces, food fights, harmless pranks, your home is full of laughter and you're at the center of it.

hmmm...I'm sure there are more--those are just a few of the kinds of moms I know. What kind of mom are you? How did you live up to that over this summer? Tell us about it!

Endless Possibilities

Do you remember those "Magic Eye" pictures? The ones where you'd kind of squint and let your eyes go blurry and you'd see an image hidden within the picture.

That's kind of how I look at "the Virtuous Woman" of Proverbs 31. Hidden in the picture of this role model of efficiency and accomplishment is another image that doesn't get discussed as often.

The thing that initially made me give this woman a second look was that she had "servant girls." She had household help! I like that idea. (Someday...) Beyond that though, she was a woman who made the most of her time and found activities in which she excelled.

She's the type of woman that a mother wants her son to marry—respected by the community, praised by her family, industrious, wise, resourceful, enterprising. And while we might resent if someone else holds us up to that seemingly impossible standard (and the implication that we're not really okay the way we are), we still make our own efforts to become just such a woman.

Let's face it; we want to be more attractive, more fit, more interesting, more accomplished. We buy magazines and books by the armload to try to "improve" ourselves. We stand in the checkout line with our basket full of good intentions, deciding whether this week we will take home instructions for "Foolproof Chocolate Cheesecake," "A Romantic Bedroom Makeover in a Weekend," or "10 Easy Steps to a Whole New You."

For many years, before marriage was even a faint possibility for me, I found myself frustrated by what I perceived to be a limited number of options for Christian women. It seemed like most of the descriptions of women in the Bible were about being a wife and mother. I was neither. What was I supposed to do with the gifts and abilities that God gave me? And was I ever going to actually be happy in a life of "cooking, cleaning and babysitting" as I unflatteringly referred to it?

Those feelings of limitation were transformed the first time I realized that Proverbs 31 is not a checklist of accomplishments or a yardstick by which to measure my own achievements. It is a portrayal of the endless possibilities of a woman's life; a poetic description of a life of creativity and career, caring and commitment. Here was a passage that spelled out what my heart had always known—life wouldn't begin on my wedding day or end the day my last child left home. Instead, married or unmarried, I have a lifetime to learn and grow and become the woman God created me to be.

I am so not a "woman of excellence" in many ways. I don't particularly like to shop or cook; I heartily dislike the "E" word (exercise) and didn't marry until I was in my 30's.

So what do I find exciting about Proverbs 31? The possibilities.

I am excited and challenged by the idea that there's more to life as a Christian woman (and homemaker!) than that old cooking, cleaning and babysitting. And as much as I may have to learn, I am encouraged to know I've got time to work on it. In the same way we're allowed a lifetime to become Christ-like, we have all the time in the world to become creative, caring, committed women.

Is there something in your heart that you've longed to pursue, but you've been afraid it didn't fit the picture of a Godly woman? As you read Proverbs 31, take another look at your life and find a new way of viewing the endless possibilities God has given you.

"...of this one thing I am certain, He who began a good work in you will perfect it."Phil 1:6

Recipe: Afghans
The name of this cookie reminds me of the woman of Proverbs 31 who "makes coverings for her bed." If you "squint and make your eyes go blurry," this chocolate version of the traditional lace cookie looks like crochet. Serve Afghans as a reminder of the endless possbilities God gives to women.


1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, soft but not melted
1/2 cup brown sugar
1'/3 cup light corn syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2/3 cup flour
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup rolled oats


Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Line baking sheets with parchment or grease generously.

In a medium bowl, use electric mixer on medium speed to beat butter, brown sugar, corn syrup and vanilla until well blended. In a small bowl, stir together flour, unsweetened cocoa and salt. Add to butter-sugar mixture and beat until smooth. Gently stir in oatmeal.

Drop batter by level teaspoonfuls three inches apart onto prepared sheets (cookies will spread). Flatten slightly with the bottom of a glass. Bake five or six minutes or until edges begin to firm.

Let cookies cool briefly on sheets, then remove to wire racks to cool completely. Store in an airtight container. Makes approx. 36 cookies.

Photo from Fine Cooking. Recipe originally published in Coffee, Cookies and Inspiration, 1999, Mary Pielenz Hampton. All rights reserved.