Christmas Card Cares

Earlier this week I was so glad to get the mail and see several Christmas cards postmarked on Christmas Eve. I love the pictures and the letters--especially from people I can't keep up with on Facebook!

My excitement was tempered by some of the news carried in those messages. My heart has been heavy as I realize that age and illness is catching up with my parents' generation. People I love are in failing health and I'm too far away to spend time with them.

Earlier this month I went "home" to attend the memorial service of one friend's father; two emails tonight informed me of similar losses for other friends.

Once upon a time I set out to get my counseling degree. I wanted to help others with burdened hearts. As I progressed through the program though, I realized that I lack a fundamental trait to do the job well--I'm not very good at detaching myself from others' issues. I wouldn't be very good at turning out the light at the end of the day and leaving what I'd been told on the desk. I don't just 'hear' the problems, I feel them and carry that feeling with me.

And so, I struggled with the news that arrived in my mailbox and my inbox. The admonition to "bear one another's burdens," weighs heavy.

Thankfully, I'm reminded that there is no burden I have to bear alone, "Give all your worries and cares to God, because he cares for you."

As I feel the weight of troubles--mine, those close to me...the world's--I am making a new effort to re-direct them to the Shoulders broader than mine and the Back stronger.

"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Well Done, Good and Faithful Servant

I will catch up on our 25 Stories of Advent soon. I got behind during a quick trip to my hometown for the memorial service of a dear friend's father.

Mr. Estes was one of a kind. And I can't think of anyone for whom the title "Faithful Servant" is more apt.

I first knew Mr. Estes (Jim) as Brent's dad, but over the years he became dear to me for reasons all his own. Each person at the service had different, but connected memories of him:  father, grandfather, uncle, brother, Boy Scout leader, church usher, electrician, mentor...faithful servant.

In my nearly 20 years at my home church, Mr. Estes was the most familiar face at the door. I was typically greeted with a teasing tap on his wristwatch and a winking-frown accompanying the familiar, "You're late," as I slipped into the sanctuary after the first song began.

His ex-Marine exterior came across as gruff, but he loved young people and dedicated more than 40 years serving the Boy Scouts organization in many capacities. He also served on the board of a nearby Christian conference center, working tirelessly to create and maintain a place where scores of children would come to learn of the Lord he served so faithfully. Even in a leadership capacity though, he never sought the limelight or accolades. He never gave an order for something that he wasn't willing to do right alongside.

A different side of Jim emerged as his wife of 55 years disappeared into the distance created by Alzheimer's disease. Jim greeted the staff on his daily visits to her care home with a smile, a tease and a treat. His tender care for Pat and his unending commitment to her touched everyone who observed it.

I saw him last when I went home in September for my class reunion. He was at his usual place by the entrance on Sunday morning. I got a smile and a hug while he slipped my son a mint.

I look forward to seeing him again one day, standing opposite St. Peter at the gates of heaven. I'm sure he'll tap on his wrist, smile and say, "You're right on time."

And I hope he slips me a mint with the hug.

Mary and Martha Throw a Christmas Party--5 Minutes for Faith

Whew! One big holiday down, one big month to go! How are you feeling about it? Are you ready, or not? Excited or exhausted? Anticipating or apprehensive?

Every year I get a little more excited about the month leading up to Christmas. I didn't grow up with any formal Advent observances. The churches I grew up in didn't have Advent readings or Advent candles. When we finally attended one that did, it seemed odd that in my solidly Christian upbringing, I'd completely missed out on such a long-standing tradition. It was so familiar within that church, that they didn't explain it for us newbies, so I still felt like I didn't "get it."

So I was happy to get to our church this morning and see that not only is Advent being observed on Sunday mornings, but they gave us tools to use within our own families. I'm looking forward to incorporating some of the traditional elements of Advent with the newer traditions we've created as a family.

I've shared a little about our family Advent traditions. I've already started getting the books and songs ready to begin on Wednesday evening. Although they're still a little focused on their Christmas lists, I can see that my boys are happily anticipating our Advent activities too.

I haven't always been so Christmas minded during the season. As I wrote this post for 5 Minutes for Faith I was reminded of one of the reasons these traditions are important to me; I have a tendency to get caught up in the details of making things special and I can miss the big picture, the real reason any of it matters. 

There was one specific Christmas when (even though my name is Mary) I played the role of Martha to the hilt. Follow me over and let me know if you're more of a Mary or a Martha when it comes to Christmas.

(And then come back throughout December as I share a storybook and a song for our "25 Stories of Advent" tradition.)

A Taste of Thanksgiving...

This was originally posted a couple of years ago. I pulled it up because I'm making the recipe this week, but the message was a good reminder for me; maybe it will be for you as well. 

It's ironic that the time of year that's supposed to be about family togetherness, thankfulness and good cheer is--all too often--an unfortunate reminder of just how flawed most families are. It's certainly nothing new.

Remember Joseph? The son of clan patriarch Jacob (who got the title of "oldest" son by tricking his father and brother), Joseph was clearly daddy's favorite. And he had no trouble reminding all his brothers of that fact.

When they tired of listening to him gloat and feeling "less than," they threw him down a well. They at least had conscience enough not to leave him there to die, so they sold him to a passing Egyptian caravan to be a slave.

He did work his way into a place of favor and when his family needed his help years later when faced with famine, he forgave them and took them in with the famous line "What you intended for evil, God intended for good."

It can be hard to imagine that some bad family dynamics can be used for good, but at least there's always that glimmer of hope. I know I've got a long list of ways my family was (and is) far from perfect. Some of those experiences taught me things to avoid in my own life; some give me better understanding of other people.

Maybe most important, I've learned that harboring grudges does nothing for me. Forgiveness isn't about setting my "hurter" free, it's about setting myself free from the bondage of the past.

A few years ago I was reminded that I've done my own share of hurting; Jesus went to the cross because of the wrong I've done. But my forgiveness is complete and He doesn't hold any of it against me. 


May this Thanksgiving be just such a reminder for you.

Nutted Wild Rice 
This is a recipe I created a number of years ago to go as a reminder of the forgiveness Joseph offered his brothers. The combination of the grains and fruits and nuts is symbolic of putting aside differences and coming together.

1 cup mixed long grain and wild rice
2 1/4 cups chicken broth
1/2 teasp. curry powder (this isn't a curry dish, the curry powder just adds a nice depth)
1/3 cup diced, mixed dried fruit (peaches, apricots, apples, raisins, etc)
1/3 cup toasted slivered almonds
1/3 cup toasted pecan or walnut halves
3 tbsp butter (optional)

Bring chicken broth to rolling boil; add mixed rice and curry powder.

Return to boil, then reduce heat to medium, cover and simmer for 30 to 35 minutes or until liquid is absorbed and rice is tender. Remove from heat.

Stir in fruit and nuts, cover and let stand for 5 minutes.

Add butter; fluff with fork before serving.

It's a great side dish with turkey (could be a really nice change of pace to go with the leftovers); throw some chopped turkey in to heat through in the last 5 minutes of cooking and it can be a one-dish meal.

God is in the Detours--5 Minutes for Faith

How's your journey been lately?


Once upon a time, things seemed clearer to me. When we were in college, or Hubs was in seminary, we pretty much knew where we were going and about when we'd get there. There were definitely bumps in the road or unexpected curves, but we didn't doubt or wonder where we were headed.


That hasn't been the case more recently...
 I blogged about it today at 5 Minutes for Faith. Please stop by to see how God used getting lost on the way to church to remind me that a detour isn't always a step in the wrong direction.

Internet Cafe--"Great" Grandparents?

Did you have ‘great’ grandparents? You know, the kind that kept you for a week (or more) every summer. The ones who spoiled you by letting you eat (homemade) cookies before dinner–if they made you eat dinner at all. They listened to you, played games with you, taught you the most important things about life…

When my friend Lydia Harris was working on her book Preparing My Heart for Grandparenting, she asked me to tell her about my relationship with my grandparents. It was hard to know what to say because they weren’t the kind of grandparents I thought she’d want in her book. We didn’t spend the night with them or go on trips together. They didn’t even share my family’s faith, so they didn’t play a role in my faith formation.

But looking back, I can see how important they were nonetheless. Their acceptance of us contributed a lot to who and what my sister and I became...Come on over to Internet Cafe to join the conversation about what makes grandparents 'great.'